Friday, May 30, 2008

Kinder graduate & seeing yourself as a child

Yesterday, my third baby graduated from Kindergarten! It was so sweet. They sang to the tune NY, NY but with 1st grade, 1st grade! I just teared up... I can't believe I refrained from crying. The day before I had come across his hospital baby bracelet..... for that I sobbed! Truthfully, I never really got the time flies by........ and everyday it becomes more and true. My grandfather just told me that for him the days are passing even quicker now! I can only imagine.....

The girls are finishing the 3rd grade today..... WOW, I HAVE 2 FOURTH GRADERS!!! Next year, they get to go upstairs. Right now, I can find humor in their moodiness that is developing. Ask again at the end of the summer ;)

Yesterday, my sister told me about something she read by Louise Hay. Ms. Hay is an author our mother has read and loved for years. She was talking about how we need to each look at ourselves as children. Really, imagine yourself as a small child. She does this in an exercise to help us see how critical and mean we can be to ourself. This really spoke to me... I just see so much of me in the girls. Would I say that to my daughters..... No, (most of the time and if not a quick appology is given) I treat them with kindness, show them a better way of seeing themselves and their strengths, and help them with any weakness. Why am I saying it to my self? I am after all a child of God just as my sweet babies. I like this...... GOOD REMINDER!!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Can't Sams

My four year old son and oldest daughter were eating out for lunch when my son yelled, "LOOK, MOM IT'S A CAN'T SAMS! SEE!!!!" He was pointing just next to his plate. After a few seconds of questioning, he just kept repeating until his thick Texas accent slurred the words together, "CAN'TSAMS" became "CAN'TSEEUMS" or Can't-See-Ums or correctly No-See-Ums! A small bug was sitting next to his plate. He thought it was a No-See-Um! It is so cute how kiddos minds work.....he really is so smart to have even connected no to can't and remembered that this is the name for the small bug!!!! Oh listen to me, I may be just a little biased!!!!

FYI: No-See-Ums are a real bug, they bite and are a pain!!!!

Another funny from the four year old..... my daughter was telling him that her chest felt gross. Full of emotion he exclaimed, "Then stop touch me, I don't want you to make me gross!"

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Career Day

This morning I sent a Chef, Illustrator, and a race car driver off to elementary school! They were so cute deciding what they want to be when the grow up. One of my oldest kept asking all sorts of questions about how much this makes and that makes. She was also very direct to tell her Daddy that she did not want to do what he does because he travels TOO MUCH. Funny.... he and I think he hardly travels. She decided to do what she loves which is draw..... of course she had to give it in her mind a distingushed title..... illustrator! She does love to read and draw...a great fit I think. The chef....well she is a mathmetician and loves to cook....PERFECT FIT!!! Plus, she loves to put a smile on your face and cooking for others seems an easy way to accomplish this. Well, the race car driver..... he loves to make my heart skip a few beats. He thought of fireman seriously! Also, He wants to be a daddy....JUST LIKE HIS DAD!!!!
Sending my beautiful babes off this morning, I thought back to all the times my own mother sent me off to school dressed for the future. I REALLY remember thinking, "I will be a mother!" was the one constant. I had a dream of being an astronaut for NASA. I would be a pilot for the Air Force and then go on to fly in space. THEN I went on a plane ride at about 9 (not my first).... my ears were in terrible pain. Tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. I have alway had ear problems and this was my first plane ride without tubes. Unfortunately, many plane rides to folow would be just as painful. So my Career Day outfit quickly changed.... I love babies.... I will be a mommy and a teacher! I know shocking :) As I got older I became less and less certain of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Something around art..... maybe....
Well heck, here I am almost 31 and Career Day is making me think about how I am dressing today.... runner, playmate, medical transport (taking a kid to the dr), laundry folder, cook.....oh and blogger ;)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Concerned Brother

"I had a terrible feeling about that earlier!"

When getting out of the bath at the end of the day, my 4 year old made this grown up statement. When his dad asked him about what, he thought that his brother was going to get into trouble when he threw a ball on the roof.

It was a declaration to let Dax know he was glad he had not gotten mad at his BIG brother!

Wow, brotherly love! They fight, wrestle, and say really mean things to each other but they also watch out for each other and are bored without each other.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

To Freak My SISTER OUT!!!!

DO YOU SEE THE BIRD ON MY HEAD!!!!! My sister is terrified of birds luckily I am not so much..... these birds were afraid of nothing. We were on a field trip to the San Antonio Zoo with Kindergarten. The zoo guy behind me had just told the 3 boys with me not to touch the birds because they might bite. Then this bird landed on my head. It hung out a while... the worker DID NOTHING to help me get it off! It made the boys laugh and luckily did not poop on my favorite Pat Green hat!!! After a while I shook my head and it flew toward another lady :)

Leo, I advise never going in this aviary....not that you ever would ;) They really were pretty birds!!!!! SEE..............................

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Learning, reacting, and being aware

I've been working on learning lately. Pretty vague, huh?!?! Well, I have given myself no limits. Anything and everything, I am just opening myself to new things. Even re-learning things in a different way or from another perspective. The other day my 8 year old was teaching me a better way to write some cursive letters. I've also been learning to love things like bugs, sharks and (well not love but appreciate) snakes. OK, so I realize that most of this is just everyday stuff... but what I am learning in the little things is teaching me volumes about myself!!!!

REACTING..... it has always been a struggle! Either I am over-reacting or not reacting and then internalizing FOREVER! Not sure from what book or podcast I heard this in (several I think) but it really resonated with me..... You do not need to argue for the truth.... it is better to be kind than right...... Since I was a teenager I have had a sign that said, "Rule #1: Elizabeth is always right, Rule #2: if Elizabeth is wrong, see rule #1!" Funny, but sad that somewhere deep inside of me I always have needed to be right. I am not proud of this but with the new knowledge that I am not in a battle for the truth.... I feel released! I truly prefer to be kind. I was taught tolerance and compasion as a little child. Understanding where people are coming from has always been a top priority for me. The sad fact is that I had become intolerant on the inside of those who were intolerant of others because of religion, race, sexuality. What you resist, Persist!~Carl Jung / Resistance is Futile (Star Trek).... Now, what I am doing is releasing myself from the fight and choosing tolerance/ compassion. This is not saying that I am going to do nothing but instead I am choosing to focus on what IS to me and not worry so much about the other. Pretty obvious, but it is taking some work to realize that I can not seek compassion for others when I don't have it for those who feel equally just whether morally or socially. After all, we are just plotting out our own path. I love that not all of our maps are the same. They all have different starting points and destinations.

Being aware.... this one is very simple. Why did I react or not react this way? What was I feeling? What were they feeling? What was the outcome? This is keeping me from being so hard on others and myself....just being!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

My Mother's Day

Blessed, loved, moved, happy, peaceful..........
after this weekend I could go on and on..... I am overwhelmed with wonderful feelings inside of me! It is amazing that nothing I received was of great expense but was worth more that anything money could buy. First off, when I got home on Friday mine and Dax's room had been cleaned spotless. This is a huge deal because our room is generally the catch-all for the whole houses mess.
"Dax gets huge brownie points for this one!!!" Each of the kids gave me gifts made at school... a recipe book, painted pot and flower pens, photo with a handmade frame, hand print with a sweet poem, potted plants and tons of thoughtful cards. They were so proud and full of so much love..... WOW!

Today is a most unusual day, because we have never lived it before; we will never live it again; it is the only day we have. ~William Arthur Ward

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Graduation Season

Wow, here we are in May 08. Seems like yesterday that it was May 99. Dax was graduating A&M and I was about to deliver the twins. But this post is about May 06....
You know how a smell or a sound can jolt you back to a memory. It happened to me the other day. Suddenly, I was swept back 2 years ago. In my head we were at Robin's graduation. It is funny because getting ready to fly to NY, I had unsettling emotions. We were heading to the little sisters College graduation. She would be receiving a interior design degree. I was JUST a at home mom who had once had great design dreams of my own..... Don't get me wrong I was happy for her and very excited but a little sad for myself. It turns out that the day she graduated that pitty for myself was gone. In it's place was so much pride and excitement for her and her great accomplishment! I am so proud I was there when she recieved her degree. I held my breath until she got off the stage .... then we yelled and cheered.

JOB WELL DONE..... Robbie!!!! Love you.....missing you!!! Robin's school newsletter...type her name in the find box.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Being Childish.........

The word childish as defined by Merriam-Webster Online dictionary is of, relating to, or befitting a child or childhood. The other day one of my kids had a teacher tell her she was acting "Childish" and to act more like an adult after being hurt. The teacher apologized coming up with a back peddle that she had not been addressing my child but another (*NOTE: much younger) one!!!! Who was acting VERY childish! (LAUGHABLE when looking at the definition) We accepted the apology because my child felt happy with it and because other teachers were made aware... eyes will be on her.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

The good parking spot!

I just remember praying....actually praying (what a waste) for a close spot in the parking lot. The thinking was that I deserved it....I had 4 kids under 5! My almost 6 month leg ordeal really changed my view of the good parking spot. It has been thankfully a year and a few months since I was finally given the all clear. Being on crutches with 4 little ones at home was very challenging and tiring. What was once a quick trip to the store now became an ordeal. Puppy backpack (leash in disguise) on the 2 1/2 year old and a mean mommy voice saying "hold hands" every five seconds to the 3 1/2 year old as we trekked across parking lots to get inside. Those scooters inside made it not so bad while shopping. Outside it was hot and my leg ached with every bounce. Looking back, I know someone else would have gone for me but I wanted to be helpful. I wanted out.... I am a goer and doer by nature. Mom always said my middle name should be "Play". Anyway, the moment I could walk any distance I started to park farther and farther back. Now, I drive past the first open spaces. On hot summer days the kids whine and say, "We have to walk so far!" I just smile, "Thank God we can!" After sitting in a bone cancer Doctor's office and finally realizing it's just a hidden break leaking marrow, the good spot for me is in the back!!!!